Summertime Blues

The summertime blues.  That time right after school lets out, and your brain is on go but just so tired; your body is on pause and has little get-up-and go.  The stress of inactivity is real, but no initiative remains to activate.  

This was the busiest school year ever...which a summer from before that was in first gear, every day.  Weeks would begin with my thinking how will I get everything finished...but I did.  Just not always to the perfection I would have liked.  And...my classes may have suffered?

When friends and family ask what all I am doing this summer, I reply, "As little as possible."  And I mean it.  While my goal is to deep-clean one room in my house per week, I am not sure how deep that cleaning will go, as I am determined to just rest...right here in the summertime blues.

Am I depressed?  No.  I am just tired. (Don't get me wrong...if I were to focus on that I want and do not have, yes, I could become depressed...classes to teach, positions to hold, salary increases already earned, relationships lacking...you know the unattainables; things obviously not meant to be...or maybe would be if I chose to change more?  But.  I choose to focus on what I have and know I am so blessed.  Therefore, those sort of blues have little time in this summer of rest.)  

I finished year 33.  Year 33.  A year so full of clubs and activities...four clubs and two huge events (Homecoming and Prom). Probably too much...but I sooo enjoy working on all those activities.  Sometimes, just a few times, I have just so wished for a full-time job doing all things extracurricular!  Wouldn't that be a dream job...no papers to grade!  (Better not go down that rabbit trail!)

I am going back for year 34...and I want it to be the best yet...with a few changes.  Once I have rested a bit more (probably until July 4), I will plan more, discard more, ready more, entering into a year more prepared.  Oh, the irony...to have taught 33 years and still not have it all together!  Just the cycle of education...as changes keep happening, not waiting until all are ready, not that would ever happen.

UPDATE:  Yesterday, we had a committee meeting at church...and I felt that "new" year feeling for the first time...and I am glad, for I know at some point, I have to make The Decision to enter into the next phase of life...but not ready for that yet!

Always a good sign, too, when one finds herself scrolling Amazon for a new backpack for the new year!  Always a good sign, too, when making plans with teacher friends to meet at school to plot and plan.  Always.

Soooo...here's to down time, coffee time, read time, time to renew, refresh, restart.  Yay!